I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
