Where is the hickey?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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