I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
