hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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