what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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