I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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