Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
