Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You're a waste of cheezeits
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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