I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
