Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
