it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
