4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
