Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We had to coat check the pizza.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
