I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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