you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
