Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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