Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
