I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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