You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
