Im at strip club and am horny
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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