OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
