Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
