: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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