I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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