Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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