Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
