the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's great music for shaving your balls
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
