I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
