i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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