Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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