if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
