i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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