when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
