He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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