I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
