my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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