You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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