so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
