last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
