I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
