Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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