he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just puked most of my soul out..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
