How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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