I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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