I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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