i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
