Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
