i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
