That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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