I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
