i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
