HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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