You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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