just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You need Xanax blowdarts
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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